Paparazzi

This blog will have maximum effect if you listen to Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi while reading.

Today Jessi and I went to the National Storytelling Contest at a nearby university. Some of our students were participating in the contest and many of the teachers were going along so Jessi and I decided to join. Since we’ve been at our school for a few weeks now, Jessi and I have become more “familiar” and don’t cause as much of an uproar as we used to. We still cause a stir in public but since we frequent the same places often we’re becoming less of a cause for rioting. I had almost forgotten the insanity that Jessi and I can cause…until today.

The contest was being held at Xavier University. Xavier University houses all your educational needs in one large compound. The elementary school, high school and university are all on the same grounds. You could literally go to the same school for your entire academic career. School was in session while the contest was occurring so there were a lot of people around. Things started out pretty normal. Jessi, the other teachers and I took our seats and everyone in the auditorium turned to stare at us. Some people pointed and took pictures but there was no shouting, crying or requests to hold babies so, like I said, it was a normal start.

The contest began and the focus shifted from the only two white people in the crowd to the speaker on the stage. Incomprehensible announcements were made and then Jessi and I went with our teachers to a different room to hear my second grade student compete. It was a lot of fun to watch the contest. Basically there were select students from all over the area who told a story and then they were judged on their performance. My little student did an amazing job and we were all so proud of her. After the contest we went down to the canteen, AKA the cafeteria, for lunch. It was here that the paparazzi found us…

Jessi and I sat down to eat and were immediately approached by some girls who wanted to take our picture. So we smiled, took the photo and then tried to get back to lunch. When I looked around the canteen I realized every student in there was staring at us. Some were giggling and pointing, some were hiding under tables from us, some were attempting to take our photo without us noticing, some were clearly trying to work up the courage to talk to us and I’d guess that 90% of the students in the canteen were talking about us. A few students were playing a game that I have deemed, “Touch the White Girl” where they run up behind your back and try to tap you without getting caught. Guess how much I enjoy that game.

The table across from us was clearly commanded by a young girl with a video camera in her cell phone. She documented our entire meal. She seriously videoed Jessi and I’s entire eating experience. Her friends stood behind her and directed her camera angles. That must be one exciting documentary. “Oh look at the white girl eating her rice. See how she lifts the fork to her mouth…fascinating…”

There was also another interesting girl who screamed each time she saw us. These were not screams of terror but screams of pure joy and excitement. I wonder if teen heart throbs have hearing problems from being shrieked at; I’d imagine young girl shrieks must register at a very high decibel.

Finally Jessi and I were joined at our table by the teachers from our school. I thought maybe this would make things better but I was wrong. They thought all of the attention we were attracting was hilarious so they didn’t do much to discourage all the photos and stares. I do have to agree with my fellow teachers that this attention, in part, is really hilarious. The reaction that the kids have to us is so ridiculous it’s funny. Every time Jessi or I got up for water or something to eat we were followed by a Pied Pieper’s trail of children. But this celebrity status also gets tiring. You just have to smile, smile, smile and pose for picture after picture. Sometimes all the attention and screeching just gives me a headache.

Finally, near the end of lunch, I thought I’d give these kids a taste of their own medicine. The table across from us, the one with the girl taking the video, was especially enamored with us. They were all snapping an insane number of pictures on their cell phones and giggling uncontrollably. I leaned over to Jessi and said, “Hey Jess, watch this.” I reached into my purse, took out my camera, and lunged across the table and began snapping pictures of the kids. They FREAKED out. It was hilarious. Most of them scattered like chickens but some began to pose for the camera. The teachers thought this was the funniest thing they had ever seen and we all had a pretty good laugh over it. I also got some priceless photos. (See below.)

Comparing their snapshots of Jessi and I

Finally it was time to go. Since we had a long drive back I decided to go to the bathroom before we left. I exited the canteen and wandered down the hall where I found what the Philippinos call the “comfort room.” (Don’t be fooled by the name, there’s nothing comfortable about a public bathroom in a developing country.) Unfortunately, two little girls saw me go into the bathroom. They must have told all their friends to come and look because I had little girls running in and out of the bathroom trying to listen to me pee. Glamorous. If the stall hadn’t been locked I think they would have come on in with me. When I exited the bathroom there was a crowd of boys and girls standing in the doorway, clearly discussing how fascinating it is that white people pee too. I just smiled and said hello.

Since everyone here loves Americans so much, and since these children are harmless and simply being Philippino children, I will continue to smile and pose for photos and be gracious. However, there will always be a part of me that finds this attention overwhelming and I will never fully understand why I’m such a big deal.

I’m wishing a happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family at home. I wish I could join you for the holiday!

Oh, by the way…you’re all getting autographs for Christmas.